| The Actors |
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04.26.2010 @ 12:40 pm
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Finally, here's the list of the people in my life =3 I know, I haven't written all people on here, but that's either because a) I haven't blogged about them yet or b) They're stupid xD
So it'll be updated constantly!
They're sorted alphabetically, so it shouldn't be too difficult to find the name you're looking for.
( Crew list! )
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11.17.2009 @ 9:40 pm
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Yes, I'm updating again. Just skip this, if you can't be bothered to read anymore of my bullshit.
I'm... so... bored. Or well, not really bored, because I can think of things to do - I just don't do them. I'm in lack of motivation. Actually, I don't recall ever being this unmotivated for.. anything. Just now I had to count days between the events that I'm "looking forward" to cheer myself up. Did it work? No. Because I'm not really excited about anything.
The day after tomorrow I'm going to the cinema with Susanne and Sofie to watch "New Moon". Right now I couldn't care less, and I want this feeling to stop. I want to look forward to seeing them :/
Then on Monday (or Tuesday) Mads and I are going to this comedy show.
Next Friday is my birthday. My birthday, for God's sake! And I'm not excited.
I hope I can get my act together to tomorrow and force myself to go to school. Though, right now it seems highly unlikely. Just the thought of having to get out of bed, do my hair and drink/eat something makes me tired.
I lost my passion. This needs to stop.
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| Evil circle |
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11.17.2009 @ 1:05 pm
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Fuck. I've just started my Danish assignment and I'm already suffering from writer's block. Damn. I can't really hand in half a page of crap. Or on the other hand - at least it's better than handing in 12 pages of crap? No, I'm just kidding. I will of course continue to write a lot of crappy, crappy paragraphs in an attempt to make the assignment long enough to hand in.
While I'm sitting here - suffering - I'm thinking about all the other things that need to be done. Like, the dishes, for instance. And the apartment is a mess in general :< Aaaand apparently, Mads is not going to school today either. This is bad.
Though, I'm going to school tomorrow. I promised Nina. My lessons don't start 'til 1PM, so we have a lot of time to go to 7-eleven or Juice Stop or something. Yum.
My throat is still sore, though, but my head isn't spending and I'm not feeling like puking all the time, so it's good.
I'm hungry, but I don't want to start cooking something. I'm so LAZY. I'm always kind of lazy, but being ill just makes it ten times worse, uuuugggghhh.
Mads is playing some oddball game. It seems boring, but since I don't have anything better to do, I can't help watching him play it. I hope he's going to play something interesting next. Or do his homework -_-
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| Inexplicable intentions in inactivity |
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11.16.2009 @ 9:53 pm
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So, I'm still ill. As I said I stayed home all of last week, and now I also have to stay home some of this. Nina said that I shouldn't bother to come tomorrow, since they're just doing presentations and I wouldn't be able to participate in that anyway, so I'm following her advice. She also said she would be more than happy to hand in my English assignment for me, so there's really no need for me to go there.
Even though I'm a bit tired of staying at home, I really, really don't feel like going to school at all. Nowadays school's just "bleh". I'm still doing my assignments and handing them in in time, though, so it's not because I've totally given up on school. I'm just not motivated to physically go there.
It's sad, really :/
Oh, and Mads also stayed at home today - and he'll be skipping another lesson tomorrow as well. Since he's got a lot of absence already he may end up having to take all the examinations this school year. I myself am convinced that he would be able to handle that, but I'm just afraid that he doesn't have that much faith in himself. Both he and I would be completely devastated if he doesn't graduate this time, so to me that's not even an option.
Tomorrow I need to do my Danish assignment. I think that's the last of the big assignments before Christmas. Or at least so I hope. But since that's the only thing I have scheduled for tomorrow, I think I just might go through with it.
Other than that I'm probably going to watch Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares or something. Seriously, that's my favourite way to relax. Gooordooon <3
I just finished this book called 'The other side of the story' by Marian Keyes. I'm.. not really sure what I think about it. All in all I think it was excellently presented - I got attached to the characters, there were a lot of cliff-hangers etc., but.. I just can't relate to the story/stories.
You see, it's actually three stories, where the main character of each story know the other main characters in some way (which makes it exciting). One of them, Gemma, I can relate to, since her story makes sense - and kind of reminds me of myself. But it's a whole different story with the other two.
The second one, Jojo, is a literary agent who's having an affair with her married boss, which annoys me greatly. Everything from how their relationship is presented, how the boss is acting and how naive his wife is just bugs me. Seriously. I HATE unfaithful people. All the time I kept questioning, "Why doesn't he just leave his wife? Nobody's happy like this!"
The last one, Lily, is an author who stole Gemma's boyfriend, Anton. Lily and Anton fall in love, have a baby and eventually buy a house for money they don't have. Eventually they're not able to pay the mortgage anymore, so they have to move out. Lily is really angry with Anton due to this, so she decides to break up. Months go by - where Anton is devastated - until Lily finds out that she actually wants to be with Anton anyway. So they get back together. Just like that. That's so surreal! Seriously, "getting back together" is another one of my "pet peeves". People, for the most part it just doesn't work out. There's a reason why you broke up to begin with.
Geez, this book. But still, I can't help feeling that I want to read another of Marian Keyes' books now.
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11.14.2009 @ 11:19 pm
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Enough whine, I say!
I think the reason why my previous entry was so whiny was that I realised a couple of things. For instance that I'm not going to be home during the Christmas month anymore :/ And now that I know this, I really regret not enjoying it to its fullest last year.
So, it's been a while since I've done a proper update, hasn't it? I guess my life is pretty uneventful at the moment.
But yeah, last weekend we (Mads, Susanne, Sofie and I) went to Copenhagen to attend J-Popcon for the fifth time. It was fun as always :D Though, there were too many people for my taste. It was really, really crowded. Especially in the dealer room and the game room. I guess I should be thankful for that, because it resulted in me not buying everything I saw and wanted. Actually, I ended up only buying two yaoi mangas, some stickers and a necklace. I'm fairly proud.
Despite the huge crowd and the con staff's usual lack of organization skills, it was a great weekend. Mostly because I got to spend time with Mike and Hans ^^ I have missed them a whole lot, and once again we've proved that we're spending way too little time together. So I'm considering going to Copenhagen sometime this spring - just to visit.
The cosplay competition was far better than usual - almost all the cosplay acts were beautiful/made me laugh. The team that won was a Halloween Town Kingdom Hearts act, where they danced to Marilyn Manson's version of "This is Halloween". That was pretty awesome :D
When we got home Sunday, Mads and I had a big fight. I'm.. not really sure what it was about anymore - I can't remember - but I was rather depressed. In the end I think it was a good thing that we had a fight, though. It cleared some things up.
But well, afterwards I was left with a mind-blowing migraine, so I didn't go to school the next day.
When Mads got home from school, he had a terrible fever, so then we were both ill. That also resulted in him not going on the school trip to Copenhagen to following Wednesday. Honestly, I'm glad he couldn't go. Yes, I'm that possessive. Judge me now.
So we've spend this week doing nothing but being ill. I was probably well enough to go to school some of the days, but I decided to stay home because I just couldn't leave Mads alone in his terrible condition. Seriously, I've never seen a person being that ill before.
And that was my week - you know the rest from my previous post, I guess.
Actually, I'm enjoyed being at home right now. It's relaxing, even though I know I have a lot of homework to do. I just can't be bothered until next week.
Also, it's soon JC's birthday! I had made a huuuge list of ideas for her present, but today I narrowed it down so I had too possible items. Just now I decided on which one I would buy. I hope she'll be happy when she receives it ^^ I actually put a lot of thought into it, even though it might not seem like it.
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11.14.2009 @ 1:55 pm
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Before you start reading, here's a warning - whiny post is whiny.
Yesterday, I felt so weak. Mads was going to a gaming meet-up in Herning (which is a stupid town <.<), so I decided to go home. Immediately after getting in the car and driving away, I just felt so.. heartbroken. For no real reason, and I hate myself for being like that. It's just that the moment I'm not with him anymore, I start doubting whether he really loves me - or even likes me. Go ahead and tell me I'm stupid, but I just can't help it.
So basically, I spend the day being very miserable and doubting everything. I was a mess. And I kept thinking, "Should I text him? No, that would just make me seem weaker.. But really, I want to talk to him. Still, I don't want to seem desperate, that'll just scare him away." Anyway, I ended up not texting him, but this morning I woke up to a message from him! "I would rather be with you :S" it said. Instantly, I felt better. Much, much better. And that's what I hate even more. Why does he have this sort of power over me? :/ I feel like I'm being manipulated.
I really hate being doubtful, btw. It ruins everything for me. I also started doubting whether it would be a good idea for us to move in together, which I still kind of do. I just want it to work out.
Aaaand I only have one month left here before moving out. I'm scared.
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| Back to the future |
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10.27.2009 @ 7:06 pm
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I just got reminded of the time where I had to go through that trainee period everybody at school has to go through. For days I didn't know which company to apply to, since I wasn't really interested in any specific job, until my aunt suggested to me to gain my work experience where she works - a travel agency. I didn't spend much time contemplating the idea, since it just seemed to fit with my personality and interests so well. Therefore I quickly accepted her offer and got assigned to the part of the agency that takes cares of trips to "special" destinations. Generally just anything outside of Europe.
During that period I had to live with my aunt, since I lived way too far away. At first I thought, "This is never going to work :/ This'll be like moving away from home and actually getting a job" - but that's not how it went. Even after one day I felt at home. The job was awesome, the colleagues were nice and shopping groceries after work made me feel so independent. Like I had a life of my own for the first time ever.
My aunt did an incredible job at giving me responsibilities like cleaning, grocery shopping and much more.
At work I also got a lot of experiences. Since my aunt had a lot of faith in me (and had told the manager this) I got to do actual work. Most of my classmates' company didn't even let them touch anything. They were mainly just there to observe. But with me, it was very different, and I loved it. I got to talk to customers (I was even allowed to give travel advice to someone going to Japan, since my aunt said I was more experienced in that field than any of the people working there), write letters, act as secretary, print tickets, effects insurances etc. One of the day I even got to act as manager, since she was out of town. That was awesome :D
Though, no matter which tasks I got, I thought everything was great fun. I enjoyed walking around in the company building and saying hi to people like they were my real colleagues.
Now I just miss it. I hope that when I go to university, I can have a part-time job there. Since I did my work experience there, so I've already got my foot in the door. The manager wrote a recommendation letter for me, so I have a better change at getting a job there in the future.
I really hope this'll work out.
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10.26.2009 @ 8:47 pm
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Every time I get slightly bored, I start thinking about how much I miss Japan :/
I miss walking around Shibuya, looking like I actually know where I'm going. I miss feeling at home in Harajuku. I miss browsing through hundreds of CDs that I actually like in Closet Child. Walking through the park, hand in hand. Standing on a bridge, admiring the moon as it's reflected in the water. Eating curry in all kinds of ways. Buying Red Bull at some convenience store at night. Going to McDonald's to get a 'secret Pokémon gift'. Gaming Pokémon Platinum under the covers. Screaming while killing cockroaches. Eating sushi for breakfast. Spending time on an Internet café with free beverages. Seeing Mads eating something he would never touch in Denmark. Going on shopping sprees. Studying Japanese with awesome classmates and teachers. Watching lame Japanese game shows. Being surprised at the fact that it's normal for one commercial to be aired ten times in a row. Looking at cute kittens and puppies. Taking a train that's never delayed. Enjoying the view of Tokyo from one of their tallest buildings. Going to the arcades - trying to beat Japanese people in Tekken or just playing 'multiplayer' games. Being looked at very openly on the street. Ordering food in a restaurant where the staff doesn't speak or understand English. Wandering around and suddenly not knowing which part of the city it is. Eating high class food in an expensive restaurant with a gorgeous view of Tokyo. Sitting in a Hello Kitty ferris wheel, scared to death. Actually eating something truly tasty at McDonald's. Having a whole house for ourselves, pretending it's our own. Spending the night at a love hotel. Impressing the Japanese by saying one sentence in fluent Japanese. Drinking alcoholic drinks at a fancy bar despite being underage in Japan. Finally finding a place that sells kakigoori. Meeting the same foreigner twice. Watching Harry Potter in the cinema before any of my friends in Denmark. Not understanding the need of various games (for instance, a bus simulator game). Feeling like the rest of the world didn't matter. Going to the aquarium to see otters. Buying a plushie from Build-A-Bear. Tasting a mushroom that tasted like cinnamon. Listening to the cicadas. Making friends like it was a piece of cake. Being left speechless due to the fact that Mads wanted to stay for two more weeks. Taking purikura. Getting lots of useless gifts from Mads which he won. Always being near a vending machine with cool beverages (and Royal Milk Tea). Being helped by strangers. Stopping by Lawson to buy fried chicken.
...I want to go back.
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10.25.2009 @ 1:03 am
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Dizzy Mizz Lizzy |
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Currently reading my list of things I want to see/do before I die, and it's really encouraging. Especially because I can cross a great deal of the things off the list, since I've already done them.
I'm mainly just writing this, because I want to hold on to this feeling. I like being reminded of my goals for some reason.
Also, even though I don't normally like snow, I really want it to snow right now. The world becomes so beautiful when it's covered in snow.
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10.14.2009 @ 11:20 pm
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Sometimes, you have to let go of the goods things to catch the great ones.
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10.11.2009 @ 11:29 am
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Sometimes I really love days like these. Days where I can just relax and nothing is scheduled. Right now I'm sitting here with coffee in one hand and a cat in the other, watching Mads play Soul Calibur IV on our new Xbox. Seems like he's enjoying his anniversary present xD
Speaking of anniversary - I did get a ring! Though, we're not engaged, even though everybody thinks so ._. My parents even congratulated us. I also got two t-shirts (which a very nerdy and lovely =D) and a poster. The poster is called 'Web Trend Map 4', and it's really awesome. You should totally look it up.
This Friday we invited my parents over for dinner. It went great, actually ^_^ I'm pretty sure that they're now convinced we can make this 'moving in together' thing work. My mum seemed slightly impressed xD
Yesterday we went to an anime event, which Martin invited us to. We watched the live action movies of 'Conan' and 'Azumi'. I enjoyed Conan, since I was quite obsessed with the manga some years ago. The acting was hilarious, of course! Mads said it seemed like a Japanese version of Scooby-Doo o_O
And of course I enjoyed Martin and Martin's company =D We went to Burger King (-________-) afterwards. Actually, their Crispy Chicken burger isn't too bad. Yes, I'm embarassed to admit that. After that we all went back to our apartment and did.. nothing, really. Oh right, we watched some Danish comedy show xD
Everything seems to be going well, but I do have a confession to make. I feel like I've lost.. something. Something really important, which I can't really put into words. Maybe you could call it passion. I was about to say 'spark of life', but that's probably a bit to drastic. It's not like I'm sad or unhappy all the time - it's just that I'm finding it difficult to find a reason behind everything. Oh god, that sounds so emo x_X
But really, a year ago I had so much.. drive. I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and that was motivating me. I was fighting for it. I wanted to accomplish something. Now I just don't know where that motivation went. I still have dreams. I still have hobbies. I'm just not feeling it anymore.
I kind of want my own self back.
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| Through the eyes of a stranger |
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10.04.2009 @ 4:53 pm
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Going to Nina's yesterday turned out to be a great idea. We had some amazing food and talked a whole lot - like usual. But this time we discussed some things I haven't given much thought to before, so it was fun xD I love hearing about how different their boyfriends are from Mads. It really does amuse me.
Afterwards I went to Mads' place, where I told him some things that actually has weighed me down lately. Nothing serious, though. Just a few explanations as to why I react as I do in some situations. I feel like I need him to understand me better.
Also, Mads wants me to talk more about him in my entries, WTF? xD I feel like he's all I'm ever talking about.
I'm home now. Earlier I didn't want to go home, but now that I'm here I actually realised how much I have to do D: I can't make it!
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10.03.2009 @ 10:38 am
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I woke up this morning and just looked at my room. I realised I'm going to miss it a whole lot, when I move away. I don't really know why, because it's really small and not really impressive or anything - but it does represent me.
Also, when I move, what should I take with me? We don't have much space, so some things'll have to stay. Unfortunately, we don't have enough space for a desk (and you know how much I love my desk ;_;). This could be a problem, since I've been thinking about buying a new computer, but if I have no desk, where should I put it? I also need a place to put my clothes, because I'm pretty convinced I can't fit it all in the existing wardrobe.
Moreover, the thought of never living at home again scares the shit out of me.
But when such terrifying thoughts rushes over me, I start to think why I'm moving in the first place. I'm moving to be with my boyfriend and have an actual life with him. My love for him gets re-confirmed every now and then (like when we look at the word 'BKTT' and laugh our asses off, or when we only by united forces can remember Bob Kelso's name, or when we fall off our chairs laughing of some stupid bird), so I'm pretty convinced this 'moving in together' thing could actually work really well.
Another reason why I'm moving is the endless parties that are held here by my stepbrother. I love him and all, but every time he comes home from that boarding school he throws a party. Which he also did yesterday. I was DYING. Seriously, my room was falling a part, no kidding. And my wall was vibrating so much that my lamps started making irritating noises, so I couldn't sleep at all. Fucking hell.
Tonight I'm going to Nina's with Amanda. We're going to EAT, EAT, EAT! :D I can't wait.
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10.01.2009 @ 7:26 pm
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One minute I feel like the happiest person in the world, the next minute I feel absolutely restless.
Most of all I feel like I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my past. Thinking about the choices I've made, how I've reacted in certain situations, how I've been treated by different people. Just things that might have given me some personality traits I could have lived without. Or personality traits I couldn't live without.
I'm not really very fond of my past, but I can't say I want to change it either.
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09.30.2009 @ 2:14 pm
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Hey folks. Sorry about the dry spell xD I've been quite occupied.
Friday was awesome as expected. Though, only Martin, Martin, Jes and Thomas were able to come, so.. it was a little awkward being the only girl. You would think I had already got used to it by now, but no.
We had a lot of fun, though! Mads got really, really drunk xD And when we went to stock up on the booze, he was already way too drunk for his own good. I had to drag him along - he was SO slow. Luckily, I made Jes look after him some of the way there, while I helped Martin ride a bike xDDD Not really "helped" - more like "pushed". We could totally do some kind of competetion like that. At one point he crashed, but he kept saying that he did it on purpose, WTF? xD He and Thomas also ended up in a hawthorn, and of course I was the one who had to help them.
I remember dancing some kind of line dance with Martin and Martin as well o_O
Anyway, when we got back Mads apparently decided that he couldn't hold on to his consciuosness anymore, so I had to put him to bed at around 2AM. One would think the whole situation would become even more awkward due to this, but it actually didn't. I had a lot of fun with his friends xD Talking in weird English accents and all. At 4AM they finally decided to leave.
And now it's.. Wednesday? I don't really remember this week. It has been quite boring, actually - and filled with homework. I'm also in the process of moving a little bit of my things into Mads' apartment. We're moving in together! <3
Yes, for real. Though, it's not "final" until the Christmas holidays.
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09.23.2009 @ 6:23 pm
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I just told Mads, "Honey.. We can't have children", to which he exclaimed, "WHY???!!! DDDDDD:"
Omg, it was so funny xD And I feel evil.
Today was pretty awesome. Didn't have many lessons - just English and commercial law. I felt like I participated a lot.
One of my former friends called John (I knew him from RuneScape xD) contacted me, because he had been mugged in London. He had lost everything - money, cell phone, bag etc. He asked me if he could borrow $700 o_O I said I could barely afford dinner, and that I didn't have that kind of money, which I think he understood. But still really wtf.
After school Nina and I went into town. I accidentally bought underwear D: I need to stop spending money! Anyway, Nina had a doctor's appointment, so we went there afterwards. We ended up waiting half an hour, and then when it was Nina's turn it only took, like, three minutes.
I can't wait for this Friday :D Martin, Martin, Katrine, Jes and Thomas are all coming here, so it's going to be crowded, but probably also a lot of fun. I miss hanging out with them.
Going grocery shopping in a minute. The cats need to be fed xD Actually, I'm quite hungry too.
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09.20.2009 @ 3:28 pm
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Hello journal. I'm so happy.
Yesterday we were so productive, and the apartment is looking so pretty. We went to IKEA (gotta love Sweden) with Mads' mum, where we bought shelves for our DVDs/game/CDs, a box for all the separate Wii items mat for the bathroom. Mads' mum also sponsored some clothes for Mads xD He was running low on pants. Then we just sat and talked while drinking Coke.
When we got home we started to assemble the shelves, which me doing the most of the work xD I'm very familiar with IKEA. I also put the DVDs and games in order, so now they're beautifully lined up. There's also space enough for my DVDs, haha. Even all my manga might fit in, since we have all the space where the DVDs were before.
This might work out.
Now that I got home, I talked with my mum about moving in, and she has grown really fond of the idea o_O She said we should wish for things to the apartment for Christmas.. Like, do a jointed wishlist. I'm scared.
She still thinks we're getting married sometime soon. WHAT IS UP WITH HER?
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